Why Isn’t Masculinity Light for Black Men?
Twitter: @Ryan Gunderson
On the phone with a friend in the early days of May, I mentioned how in my general and global observations of men in "only male spaces", I had begun to notice the stark differences in how black men and men of other races displayed masculinity. Specifically, stark differences in how intimate and truly vulnerable they could or tended to be with each other, what the focus of their conversations tended to be on and how much lightness they moved around the world with.
I first began to notice behavioural differences in the gym over a ten-year period. Firstly, in physical interactions. Hugs, handshakes, changing room etiquette, friendliness and self-ease. Then in verbal interactions. In the way black men spoke to other black men, white men spoke to other white men, and how Asian men spoke to other Asian men. If masculinity as a gender option was a fixed and understood way of being in the world then why across these different groups was it so different? And why in black men was it more visibly amplified? Over the last five years, I noticed the differences more strikingly when I would listen to podcasts. On podcasts hosted by black men (3ShotsOfTequila, 90s Baby Show, ShxtsnGigs Podcast) and on podcasts hosted by white men (6 Degrees from Jamie and Spencer, Off The Cuff Podcast, Tap In With Harry Jowsey).
In my observations, for the most part, during these recorded conversations, amongst white men, there was perceptible lightness and vulnerability in the way they related to each other. They told each other they loved or appreciated one another often and with ease. They spoke about their mental health and their personal issues openly. I observed ease and lack of seriousness around sexuality, and generally a more relaxed approach to life. Whereas, on the podcasts hosted by black men, in most cases, there was such an impermeable veil of strength and rigidness. If they ever expressed vulnerability it was as a speed lighting throwaway comment. They focused so much on women and not always in a positive light, and never allowed themselves to truly be seen even when they were vulnerable. There was majorly disdain for any kind of sexuality that wasn't heterosexual and a noticeable dynamic of unease. My observations of these differences in masculine presentation crashed into me undeniably and I brought it up with the friend on the phone. He mentioned to me an academic article titled "Compulsory Homosexuality and Black Masculine Performance by Vershawn A. Young" which helped illuminate the questions I had. The article proposes the thought that as a result of colonisation, Western dominance and patriarchy as an institutionalized social system that benefits white men wholly and dominantly, black masculinity has in so many ways become a performance of hyper-heterosexuality and strength.
Vershawn says, "the burden of black male racial performance, (is) the burden to prove what constitutes your maleness and Blackness…(black masculinity) has historically been deemed contrary to the norms of heterosexuality and patriarchy based on race. …Assigning nonheteronormative behaviour to black men historically exists as a way to disenfranchise us from the opportunities reserved for white men in this country and thus from perceptions of “true” manhood, and from that “true” heterosexuality.
This dilemma that began during legal segregation as “an impossible paradox”— that while the logic of racial difference “insists on black men’s natural deficiency as men, it necessarily demands that they adhere and aspire to the social codes established for the conduct of men.”
He defines compulsory homosexuality as "the requirement for black men to front performative claims about their sexuality for speculative antagonists or curious friends...this term does not (put) pressure upon someone to admit he is gay because he acts or speaks a certain way, nor does it mean outing someone you think you know is gay...it defines the requirement all black males face to disprove or accept a homosexual identity as part of our performance of race."
Reading the article, I realised that for so many black men, in every waking moment they are constantly proving they are not "pussies" and are strong heterosexual men. It's like an unspoken agreement that comes with being a black male. Anything that deviates from this presentation, even by one degree is classed as homosexual. There is no middle ground. For example, if you laugh too high, if you wear a t-shirt that's too tight, if you order a drink that comes in the "wrong glass or colour," if you like a certain colour, your heterosexuality is and can be called into question and it will affect if you are worthy of respect and humanity. This heaviness of existence stops so many black men from living truthfully and lightly. If as a man or a person, you are consciously or unconsciously performing an idea of who you should be, then who are you really beneath that?
This performance of hyper-heterosexuality also affects black men who are not heterosexual. They are more intensely dehumanised by their communities and for a fair few, feel the need to perform heterosexuality publicly even more intensely. As pride celebrations come and go through the summer months I see this show itself in black men who are part of the LGBTQ communities.
My hope for black men (and all men) is that they collectively agree to release the bondage of masculinity through a western and white gaze and define themselves individually. That they allow themselves to return to the truth of who they are or at least genuinely ask "who am I?" And be patient and graceful enough to find out. And not live as a view in contrast to an archaic idea of what white masculinity is. That they allow themselves to be light and be unapologetic in freedom. That to me is true masculinity. True action and strength. The ability to show up in the world as you honestly are and take up space. No diminishments. No minimisations.
